Kim Jong-il



The Great Fantasist finally met reality as all North Koreans were encouraged to enter the national crocodile tears competition.

When Kim II Sung became the first leader of Korea in the post-War period the fantasy began.

Kim needed to build his personality cult and so invented a whole raft of comic book exploits, with himself as the hero. North Korean students are taught that it was Kim II Sung who drove the Japanese out of Korea, single-handedly.

Kim passed on his heroic cape to his son, Jong-il in 1994. Jong-il was a hopeless leader, who was happy to watch 2 million of his people die of starvation - something he learnt from Mao no doubt.

jong-unThe hero's cape now passes to Kim Jong-un.


Osama bin Laden


Mr bin Laden, the CIA's al-Qaida bogey man, was killed in Pakistan by a special team of 'black ops' killers.

Many in the US, who follow the logic of the Rev. Jerry Falwell, believe that bin Laden was killed by God -

Leaving aside religious zealotry, when bin Laden brought down the World Trade Centre he started a war without end, i.e. the war on terror - that will be his legacy.

And let's remember that at least a million people have died in the 'war on terror' who just got in the way of the bullets and bombs.

And let's also remind ourselves that bin Laden had much to say about the West's escapades in the Arab world, much that the power mongers preferred to silence.

Muammar Gaddafi



Gaddafi also leaves a legacy, an image for tyrants across the globe; of a boastful peacock reduced to an insignificant speck of humanity, as inconsequential as a grain of Libyan sand.

David Cameron hailed Gaddafi's death as a step towards a "strong and democratic future". He made no comment on the decidedly undemocratic end of Gaddafi.

He also said: "I think today is a day to remember all of Gaddafi's victims, from ... the Pan-Am flight over Lockerbie to Yvonne Fletcher."

Perhaps we should also remember all the bombs and bullets Britain sold Gaddafi, when he was our friend, and perhaps we should recall that responsibility for the Pan-Am flight is still in doubt, and it was the British government who allowed the killer of PC Fletcher to walk away free.

News just in....

Saif al-Islam

Human rights group Watch said Saif al-Islam has been cut off from the world during his 33 days in detention, with no access to his family or a lawyer.

Now he knows what it's like to be the victim of a brutal and repressive regime, just like the one he's been living off all his life.

Our advice to Watch, "piss off and save some Tamils".

Amy Winehouse


Amy Winehouse died at the age of 27, marvellous talent shame about the life-style... and sales of her album Back to Black jumped up the charts by a hundred places over night... all very disturbing. The 'war on drugs' continues.....


David Harnett, the tax dodgers' friend resigns...


HMRC's excuse for not claiming the tax owed by large corporations is that in many cases accounting procedures are impossible to understand.

Harnett decided to get to grips with the unfathomable deceits of the corporates over a number of five star lunches. His failing comprehension led to hand shakes and notional payments.

All that you could really hope for when dealing with pin-stripped gangsters.

Harnett will not be missed.


Norway Mass Killing Spree


Anders Behring Breivik's set off a bomb in Oslo before heading to the island of Utoeya where he killed at least 68 people at an island youth camp run by the ruling Labour Party.

Prince Andrew becomes jobless


Prince Andrew, Duke of York, Air Miles Andy, and 'special representative' for trade is out of work. The BBC, being kind, says that he 'stood down' from his trade role but we all know that his judgment and behaviour hastened his demise.

Andy befriended convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein and mass murderers like Gaddafi, his son Saif and he entertained the son-in-law of Tunisia's ousted president at Buck House. He was also frequently arrogant and rude to his betters and often failed to endear himself.

And worse, he travelled every where with a valet, whose sole purpose was to look after Andy's oversized ironing board - clearly nuts, except that we paid for all his nonsense.

Apparently, he is on record as believing that his role is 'evolving'. What he actually says in his annual review (Dec. 2011) is worth a look:

"As the evolution of my role continues apace and in order to reflect the changes I have outlined, I have decided that the label I gave myself when I began this role of Special Representative has served its purpose..."

Delusional, or what!

UK rejects Alternative Vote


The UK voted overwhelmingly to reject changing the way MPs are elected. The AV referendum will go down as a costly waste of time and that's all it will be remembered for.

Ian Tomlinson 'unlawfully' killed


Ian Tomlinson was struck with a baton and pushed to the ground by Metropolitan police officer Simon Harwood at 7.20pm, at the G20 protests on April 1, 2009.

Tomlinson collapsed three minutes later and died.

The autopsy was done by idiot pathologist Dr Freddy Patel, who said he died of a heart attack as a result of coronary heart disease. He was contradicted by three other pathologists who examined Tomlinson's body, all of whom found he died of internal bleeding in the abdomen.

Mid-way through 2010 CPS chief Keir Starmer was telling everyone that he doubted that evidence of the cause of death would be found, he was backed up by attorney general, Dominic Grieve.

Meanwhile the IPCC was sitting on eyewitness evidence from three police officers, who saw PC Harward attack Tomlinson.

However, despite the best efforts of some to get in the way of justice, an inquest concluded that Tomlinson was 'unlawfully' killed.


Chilcot inquiry


Chilcot directly contradicts Blair government's claims about the WMD dossier.

One of the dossier's authors said they were told to make the case for war, not to provide intelligence.

Hooray, finally some honesty. However, the report on the inquiries conclusions will not be made public until the end of next year and then, how much or how little the public are allowed to know will be left to Call Me Dave to decide - so don't hold your breath.


Justice secretary Ken (bonkers) Clarke: "Some rapes are more serious than others..."

Last year, Mr Bonkers warned that simply "banging up more and more people for longer" is actually making some criminals worse, without protecting the public. His basic message is that "prison doesn't work" and that rising prison numbers has nothing to do with falling crime. However, some cynical types are suggesting his nuttiness is just a cunning ploy to scrap the £4 billion prison building programme.

In June, he upped the ante, for his 'empty the prisons' campaign by discussing his proposed new sentencing guidelines. Namely, if the scum, lowlife, shifty mugging violent thug in the dock puts his hand up and pleads guilty, then the sentence will be halved, and then halved again within the prison system.

Hence, someone pleading guilty, receiving an eight year penalty, could be out in two years or less. This got Mr Bonkers into big trouble, when a crafty radio reporter took advantage of his fragile mental state and asked him a question about sentencing in rape cases.

After spending most of his day pushing and shoving news reporters out of his way, Mr Bonkers appeared on TV and seemed to be heavily medicated but making much more sense. Well, at least able to reiterate his "prison doesn't work" mantra. And to say that his intention in relation to rape cases was to spare the victims a lengthy court ordeal. And by the way, he didn't mean it when he said some rapes are worse than others, although, that's what he said, that's not what he meant....

Can we offer Mr Clarke some advice, which is to focus on the adversarial court system, which puts the onus on the victim to prove their innocence, especially in rape cases, where the victim is put on trial by the perpetrator's barrister.


Low Wage and No Wage

Britain is fast becoming a low wage and no wage economy.

Many young people are being told to work for nothing, as so-called interns in fashion, design and technology businesses.

This state of affairs is leading to a re-evaluation of the role of work in peoples' lives. Without some hope of future prospects worker loyalty is fast disappearing, as workers don't feel valued their outlook becomes short-term, their expectations of being dumped imminently always uppermost.

Paying people nothing and next to nothing may be good for employers but it's bad for the economy.

Bright young people, whose only experience of work is of being exploited and disappointed, cannot be good.


P.S. the minimum wage is £6.08 an hour for over 21s.

Fifa says "Good Riddance Jack"


Jack Warner, supposedly under investigation for bribery by Fifa's inappropriately named Ethics Committee' resigned. The Committee is telling the world that his presumed innocence is maintained. Very convenient for newly re-elected Fifa president Sepp Blatter - fact is, Jack over stepped the mark, got too big headed, too greedy. Jack was the rottenest apple in a barrel full of rotten apples - his departure changes nothing, the stench of Fifa is still insufferable.













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Ed Miliband discovers himself


Ed told his Conference audience that he wasn't Blair and he wasn't Brown but we already knew that, after all, everyone in the Labour Party knows his brother, David, is Tony Blair and Ed Balls is Gordon Brown.

Ed said 'he was his own man' (like Neil Kinnockchio, Iain Duncan Smith and William Hague?).

We suspect that most psychologists would applaud Ed for discovering that he is himself and not someone else but the same psychologists might have to acknowledge that it's a trifle worrying that Ed needed to discover himself in front of an audience of millions.

We don't have the time to wait for a psych' evaluation - the man lacks confidence. However, Ed does have an asset, a key strength, he looks like a shaman, someone that the faithful activists will follow into the wilderness years.

And perhaps and maybe on that journey the Labour Party might discover a manifesto that will herald a new age of social progress, instead of the same dried up, left over, dogs dinner currently on offer from a party in denial over its betrayal of every principle of its founding fathers (and mothers). At year's end, party insiders are telling Ed he needs to be more 'out there'. More in touch with the public, more likeable. But we hear that Ed is refusing to be 'made over', saying that he is determined 'to be the person I am'?



Rapture Day, Again

October 22nd was Rapture Day again.

You may recall that the world should have ended on May 21st but due to a mathematical error the end did not transpire. Ah, but Harold Camping, high priest of doom, recomputed and the October 22nd was definitely the day.

It transpired that May 21st was just a selection process to decide who would be 'elected' to the clouds. Mr Camping said that "doomsday would not be marked by natural disasters or blasts of hellfire" - well, not a few of us were bloody disappointed Harold! If there's no hellfire, how are we supposed to know it's the end of the world?

We suspect that Harold's followers may be growing a trifle weary; I mean selling all your worldly goods, as instructed in advance of the big day, leaves you looking a bit silly in the neighbourhood.


The War's NOT Over for the Iraqi people!


The United States formally declares an end to the Iraq War. Oh really! Now, that's what we call a Pontius Pilate moment.

Between 2003 and 2011 120,000 civilian deaths have been documented. American army general Tommy Franks, famously said "we don't do body counts" but others have. This very month, with the war over and all, 225 civilians have been killed so far but Tommy wont be counting.

This war cost the US taxpayer $1 trillion, a heavy price until you visit the cost that Iraq has incurred - it's an ungovernable wasteland without a future.

The Demolition Men

Now the Iraq war's over will Congress account for the death-kill activities of their private gun slingers in Iraq. American security firms like Blackwater, DynCorp, and Triple Canopy who killed and injured with impunity while catering for their combat tourist clients. And perhaps someone can tell us who sanctioned the use of these private killers and what positive contribution they made towards peace and democracy in Iraq - probably not!


Royal Wedding, New Blood


An estimated two billion people watched the wedding of Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and Catherine Middleton at Westminster Abbey.



Silly politicians


Defence Secretary, Liam Fox, resigned following a week of pressure about his 'working relationship' with friend and 'best man' Adam Werritty.

Werritty passed himself off as Fox's advisor during trips across the globe over the past few years. Fox also entertained Werritty at the MoD. People wanted to know if Werritty, and or Fox, benefitted financially from this strange relationship. Well, want all you like, some things they don't want the plebs to know.

Another Tory Minister, Oliver 'the bin man' Letwin, said to be very clever, apologised for disposing of parliamentary papers, including constituents' letters, in a litter bin near Downing Street. The Daily Mirror reported that he had thrown out more than 100 papers in St James's Park.

The very clever Mr Letwin did not resign. And everyone now knows that the Mirror has a reporter permanently hiding in the bushes in St James's Park.

Silly Celebrities

John Galliano, South London Sizzy Boy, uttered racist and anti-Semitic remarks in a Paris bar in February. In France such actions are deemed unlawful.

Galliano was admitted to the French Legion of Honour with the rank of Chevalier (knight) in 2009, he was awarded a CBE in 2001 by the Queen. We all make mistakes.

Galliano was concerned that the allegations against him had upset the fashion community. Note, not the diners that he abused in that Paris bar.

Galliano may not have completely crossed over to the dark side. He is aware that he is the least likely person to be invited to the next couturiers' mutual masturbation party.

Also in February, the long madness of Charlie Sheen became public knowledge. Insiders have known for years that he was unwell but they tolerated him because they were snorting coke from the same coffee table.

Sheen was dumped by CBS from hit show 'Two and a Half Men'.

He attacked the show's producer, describing him as a maggot and said he would trap him in his 'hexagon'. Only Sheen knows what his hexagon can do? He continued....

"I have defeated this earthworm with my words – imagine what I would have done with my fire-breathing fists."

Japan Tsunami


A 9.1-magnitude earthquake and subsequent tsunami hit the east of Japan, killing 15,840 and leaving another 3,926 missing. Emergencies were declared at four nuclear power plants affected by the quake.

Verdict: the authorities response to this crisis was pathetic. The nuclear regulator like regulators every where was asleep on the job. The little people suffered and continue to suffer.

And in Belarus...


....things became darkly comic. Protesters had taken to marching without banners , silently, except for synchronized clapping. Stalinist Belarus mafia boss Alexander Lukashenko responded to the 'clapping threat' by banning applause at public gatherings.

This caused the Mob Boss a slight problem at the Independence Day anniversary; the crowd were told to only applaud veterans and artists; Lukashenko now knows what one hand clapping sounds like!

Dale Farm


The siege of Dale Farm continued, the UN committee on racial discrimination accused poor old Basildon Council of being racist. Fact: the travellers had built without planning permission and the Council couldn't have that. Ban ki Moon's committee were big on slogans but clearly short on alternative accommodation for the travellers - who don't actually travel anywhere? Activists, however, do travel and they arrived at Dale Farm from across Europe to set up a protest camp. They to had a number of slogans but were short on action when the bulldozers arrived to move the travellers on.

Lest anyone forgets: it was New Labour and specifically, John Prescott, the travellers friend, who interfered in Basildon's business in 2002 and left the council years later to clear up the mess.

Palestine Statehood no chance


The U S Congress blocked nearly $200m in aid for the Palestinians. All the fault of that nice Mr Mahmoud Abbas, asking for statehood recognition at the UN.

Railtrack/Jarvis: they kill people, don't they?

Yes is the answer but they did so with impunity.

A judge (13/05/11) ruled that rail infrastructure company Network Rail must pay a £3million fine and slammed individual bosses who escaped prosecution for safety failings over the 2002 Potters Bar train crash, which claimed seven lives.

The individual bosses didn't work for Network Rail, they worked for Railtrack and their maintenance contractors, Jarvis.

Railtrack sounds like it's a company that might know something about facilitating the running of a railway. When in fact all it was really interested in was stock market maneuvering and extorting ever greater amounts of money from the public purse to maintain the rail network. And they got away with it.

A sinister turn of events in the US...

The Occupy Movement is a global phenomenon. Many US cities have seen the appearance of Occupiers. However, something sinister happened during November across the US, from coast to coast the police went in hard and literally attacked the Occupiers in a series of highly coordinated strikes.

Now, given the federal structure of the US this is highly suspicious. How did it come to pass that several states decided to attack Occupy protesters in the space of a few days?

The only agencies capable of organising a mass attack on protesters across several states would be the FBI or the black ops boys from Homeland Security. The finger points towards the latter, naturally we will never know for sure but we can be sure that democracy is a thing of the past in the US of A.

Unfinished business for 2012

We still want to know who killed Dr. David Kelly, why Ali al-Megrahi was set free, why there's been no justice for the Hillsborough 96, why the Met Police failed to investigate phone hacking and turned a blind eye to evidence of wrong doing, why only a very few expenses fiddling politicians have been prosecuted, why the deaths at Deep Cut still remain a mystery, why politicians keep lying about torture and extraordinary rendition when we know that MI6 are in the frame, and perhaps, an even bigger mystery, why is George Osbourne the Chancellor of the Exchequer? And the biggest of mysteries, why hasn't Energy Secretary Chris Huhne been arrested yet?










Annual Review 2011


goodwins folly

George Osbourne told us:"The time for banker bashing is over. We need to move on.”

And Blast-It says: "You can conceal a banker's bonus but not his castle. No George, the folly continues, nobody's moving on."

For George's information, by the summer of this year, bankers had already paid themselves more in bonuses than they did in the whole of 2008/09 - £14 billion.

The European Union is in meltdown. There's turmoil in North Africa and the Middle East, the Sunnis and Shias are killing each other, the Arab and the Jew are killing each other, the generals are replacing the the dictators, the dictators killed the people, now the generals kill the people.

Sub-Saharan Africa witnesses conflict in every state, made worse by drought, disease, poverty and corruption in government. In Latin America, drug wars, lawlessness, death squads and corruption in government. In the east, rigged elections, police states, anti-democratic crack downs, floods, earthquakes and tsunamis, and corruption in government.

And in the land of the free, the Empire of America has lost its way, cities are depopulated, soup kitchens and bread lines have returned, there's talk of protectionism and democratic forces are pepper spraying 80 year olds who show dissent. Mexico is ungovernable, Canada nothing more than a warehouse for politically correct blueprints, and the ice caps are melting.

In India the extremes of wealth and poverty are disgusting, beneath any concept of a civilized society; production based on child labour, bonded servitude and slavery. In China, is the situation better or worse, how would anyone know, China is no more open today than when the Ming built the Great Wall.

Australia, New Zealand, peripheral to global events, increasingly suffering from natural disasters, re-aligning themselves to point eastwards - contributions to global development minimal, contribution to sport, significant., struggling to deal with inbred racism.

And here, England is in a mess, the smell of the riots still lingers and shop keepers are still waiting for compensation, coke snorting spivs continue to profit from Bank of England handouts. The economy stagnates while Footsie 100 bosses give themselves a 40% pay rise. The tax man does deals with large corporations, the police cover up their own misdeeds, and newsmen attend inquiries and can't even recall their own birthdays. We ready ourselves to host the Olympics and Locog talks of legacy whilst local sports facilities are closed. Call Me Dave talks about his Big Society whilst cutting support for local authorities, charities and voluntary groups. Elderly people are treated with total disregard in NHS hospitals and private care homes, cancer sufferers are still being denied life saving drugs, children are being failed in State schools and social services are still failing in their child protection role.... and on and on, ad nauseam.

No George, there will be no moving on until the world changes much more than you can imagine, while you're waiting for something to turn up and while Fred Goodwin and Co continue to mock the peasants standing knee deep in your muddy fields - it might be some time before the peasants dance again, move on and forget...


Arab Spring

The Arab Spring started apace early in January, when the Tunisian government fell after a month of violent protests; President Zine El Abidine Ben Ali fled to Saudi Arabia after 23 years in power. Saudi was the obvious choice for Ben Ali, after all, who would notice another thoroughly despicable nasty little toe-rag, in the land of toe-rags.

February saw Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak resign, after widespread protests calling for his departure, leaving control of Egypt in the hands of the military.

March: Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa, King of Bahrain declared a state of emergency as troops from the Gulf Co-operation Council (Saudi Arabia) were sent to quell the civil unrest. Al Khalifa arrived here in the UK in December for hand shakes all round with Prince Charles and David Cameron.

By mid-March a civil war was under way in Libya. The UN Security Council voted to bomb Gaddafi's troops night and day in support of the rebels; strangely and unlike previous wars, in Iraq and the Balkans, no TV coverage of the UN's actions were shown.

June: Yemeni President Ali Abdullah Saleh travels to Saudi Arabia for treatment of an injury sustained during an attack on the presidential palace. Protesters celebrate his transfer of power to his Vice-President Abd al-Rab Mansur al-Hadi.

Thousands of Syrians flee to Turkey as Syrian troops lay siege to Jisr ash-Shugur. The UN does nothing about Assad's butchery, the UN Security Council is split and does nothing. The civilian death count, as of September, was estimated at 3000. No worries, some years ago Assad's dad killed 30,000 and the world didn't care.

August: Libyan rebels took control of Tripoli effectively overthrowing the government of Muammar Gaddafi.

October: Muammar Gaddafi is killed in Sirte, with National Transitional Council forces taking control of the city, and ending the war.

December: They're holding elections in Egypt and the army are killing people on the streets again - now that's what we call democracy.

News just in: 30/12/11, Arab League observers are wandering around Syria like a group of lost tourists, whether or not they will notice the 250,000 people on the streets, protesting against Assad is in doubt?


English Riots


Call Me Dave had to return from his holiday early as London smoldered and he was in no mood to start hugging a hoodie. riots

He spoke like a biblical prophet about a plague of sick rodents infesting the land, he presaged the great revenge of the law, followed by a period of understanding.

Following the shooting by police of innocent family man Mark Duggan (and all round nice gangsta), a group protesting about the lack of information surrounding the death gathered outside Tottenham police station.

A teenage girl decided the proceedings were a trifle dull and started throwing stones at the police lines. For some unaccountable reason the police found this behaviour unacceptable, so they gave her a good kicking.

Unbelievably, members of the crowd took exception to the police behaviour... the rest is tabloid fishpaper; arson, looting, and violence - otherwise known as a riot.

The rioting spread across London on subsequent nights and as far north as Manchester. Commentators believe that these subsequent events were unconnected to the Mark Duggan affair (oh, really?) - who we learnt never fired his gun at police, in fact, he was no where near a gun.

The police stood by and watched as the looters and arsonists went about their business, they stood by and watched as Tottenham High Street was destroyed. Dave was not happy with the police, he decided to hire an American super cop to advise - having decided the criminality was all down to gangs.

In the aftermath of the riots the police have not been idle, some three thousands suspects have been arrested, many have received stiff sentences from the courts. There's now much talk of arming the police with rubber bullets and water cannons and - STOP PRESS - shooting rioters with real bullets next time. Excuse us, the next time? We can just imagine all those chief police officers' seminars going on around shiny tables, next time there's civil unrest, whatever the source, aggrieved relatives, striking public sector workers, students, pensioners - the forces of law and order will be ready - they wont be made to look stupid again.

Dave's Cunning Plans....

Salvation is at hand, our great leader, Call Me Dave Cameron has identified 120,000 families responsible for all the problems of broken Britain; the riots, economic failure, congestion on the M25, potholes, inflation, the spiteful attitudes of short French people, everything.... these families are responsible for the whole mess!

Those among you with sharpened wits may have noticed that 120,000 is a very precise number, why not a 118,000 or 121,000 families. Who identified these families? Did they put themselves in the frame? or was it that someone else gave them up to Iain Duncan Smith's stasi? Be aware that this 'action' will be complimented by another initiative, well a task force actually, the Gang and Youth Violence team, complete with Multi-Systemic Therapists - now you don't want one of those knocking on your door, do you?

This State therapy is a significant moment for our changing nation in 2011....

And in case you blinked and missed Dave's other big moments for 2011, they included the paternalism of Nudge Theory, the Politics of Happiness and Action on Happiness, and the patronage of Healthy lives, Healthy people, an instructional discourse on how to stay at work until you die, and the social engineering of the Welfare Reform Bill, to end the 'culture of dependency', Opening Doors, Breaking Barriers to provide a helping hand with your social mobility, and the big one.... the NHS Health and Social Care Bill, a one act play of epic destruction produced by Andrew Lansley, directed by healthcare lobby groups and supported by taxi-for-hire ex-politicians.

Add to that Dave's fiddling with the school curriculum, the launch of Free Schools and more academies, more PFI muggers stealing from the public purse and mass redundancies in the forces, and yes, nearly forgot, slashing the feed-in-tariff for Solar PV.


It's been a busy year for Dave and he still found time to upset the rest of Europe, sell some rockets and bombs to the Arabs and replace his phone hacking spin doctor (Andy Coulson) with a tax evader (Craig Oliver), have the back door nailed up, to keep the Murdochs out, employ a new cat and burn all those photographs of the good times with Rebekah Brooks and the Chipping Norton set.


News of the World


The News of the World closed, sacrificed to salvage News Corps bid to capture control of BSkyB; it didn't work.

The phone hacking scandal, that hastened the demise of the NOTW, left our leader 'Call Me Dave' Cameron all red in the face and flustered... cripes, he was heard to utter, and egads, expressing mild dismay and frustration... 'you know what this means' he told the Downing Street cat 'we are going to have to do something' and cripes again.... 'who's going to pay for all the free lunches now?'

So Dave, like a super hero, ordered up two inquires and culpable Met Police bosses resigned, i.e. Sir Paul Stephenson, John Yates and four others, and not a few took some extended leave - leaving it to others to do the job they were too useless to do.

The Leveson inquiry - an amnesiac's convention

Following phone hacking revelations at the News of the World, the Leveson Inquiry was set up to look at the relationship between the press and the public, the press and the police, and the press and politicians.

This process has turned into an amnesiacs' convention, at which some very bright people pretend to know nothing, to have looked at things but not seen them, to have been given things and not know who gave them, to listen to others talking but not know who they were listening to.

Leveson's purpose is to make recommendations for a more effective policy and regulation that supports the integrity and freedom of the press while encouraging the highest ethical standards.

The Jonnie Marbles Inquiry

MPs called for a another inquiry, this time into malicious pie throwing, after police and security staff at the Commons 'hacking' inquiry were made to look stupid by Jonnie Marbles or Mr Marbles (as the Daily Mail prefers to call him).

Marbles concealed a cardboard plate covered in shaving foam in a plastic bag and slapped Rupert Murdoch in the face with it, before being laid low by Rupert's piemanNinja wife.

Apparently, Marbles is a founder member of a left-wing group, whose main concern is the price of shaving foam.

Marbles told arresting police officers that he mistook the proceedings for a clowns' convention and decided to do a bit of clowning. Given the number of clowns in attendance we don't think that Jonnie can be faulted. If nothing else, Jonnie woke the buggers up.

Well, Rupert and Son went home to the US, where they shoot pie throwers and where they occasionally have real inquiries. They call them Congressional Hearings and they wont put up with the Steptoe and Son double act that PMs tolerated from the Murdochs. In case you don't know why Congress will get involved with News Corp, we'll tell yer... In the US it's against the law to bribe agents of the law in any country in the world... why don't we have a law like that here?


Rebekah Brooks, boss of News International resigned, er, so that she could deal with the nasty things people were saying about her and to count the £3.5 golden goodbye she got. We understand that she was such a top editor in her time at the NOTW that she turned down the politicians' expenses scandal story - because there wasn't enough sex in it?


Quantitative Easing...


The Bank of England printed another £75 billion this week and everyone who's anyone said it was a waste of time. The last £200 billion forced up food prices because the banks spent the money speculating in commodity markets. And bank manager, Mervyn King, admitted that he didn't have a clue about the future of the world economy, he just lived in hope.

And what of the Bank's Biscuit Policy Committee, what have they done in the last 12 months? Absolutely nothing, except consume a biscuit factory.

The Committee meets once a month for tea and biscuits, they look at the economic data, prices rising well above target, ho, hum, what could it be that's fueling inflation, can't be wages, real wages are lower than they were in 2007, could it be those bloody banks again?

Wait a minute, has anyone worked out the affect on the value of money when someone artificially inflates the supply by printing an extra £275 billion?


The Death of the Euro

True the Euro is not dead yet but it is on a life support machine with faulty wiring. The Euro has to be the most bizarre idea of the last century. The idea that a number of diverse economies could share a single currency and behave as if they were a single state with 17 different tax and spend regimes is bizarre.


The countries involved in this sorry mess are now caught in a Catch-22 situation. They know that persisting with the Euro is ridiculous but they also know that the fallout from reverting to the old currencies would cause the mother of all economic meltdowns across the world.


Solution: move towards a federalist Europe, impose fiscal discipline on the wasters, and get the central bank to become the lender of last resort and start printing funny money to save the day.

President of the European Commission, Jose Manuel Barroso, confirmed the federalist plan:

"The right way to stop the negative cycle and to strengthen the euro is to deepen integration, namely within the Euro area, based on the Community method".

Nothing is planned to happen until beyond March 2012. However, in the first 3 months of the new year some of the wasters will need to refinance their debt... their ability to do so will depend on the markets., who may well ask themselves 'what is there in this federalist promise to make us optimistic about the Euro's future prospects? Answer: not a lot.

Sovereign debt has been the big story of 2011 but sooner or later the focus will be on a far bigger problem, private debt, the debt of companies and individual households held by the banks. Throughout 2011, companies and households have been 'paying down' their debt, consequently the growth required to solve sovereign debt problems has been absent.

Consumers are paying off debt and saving, this behaviour, with interest rates at historically low levels is irrational as far as economic theory is concerned. However, when we factor in behavioural considerations, the lack of trust and confidence that citizens have in their politicians and bankers it makes perfect sense. The outcome, however, will mean that business in the future will not be as usual.

An alternative solution to growth based on consumer debt will need to be found. An economic model with a balance between manufacturing and consuming will need to worked out and markets beyond Europe will need to be found.

If our Government continues with its current strategy, like Mr Micawber, hoping that "something will turn up" then we need to remember what else Micawber had to say:

"Welcome poverty!..Welcome misery, welcome houselessness, welcome hunger, rags, tempest, and beggary!"

STOP PRESS: 21/12/11: The European Central Bank has dished out 500 million euros to the banks, the banks have backed this lending with government debt, the ECB now hopes that the banks will now buy more government debt with the funny money - we expect someone's mother knows what's going on? And in Hungary, (the land that time forgot, until it tried to sell some Government debt, 28/12/10,) they are paying 10% on ten year bonds.

Still queuing to board the EU gravy train...

With Euroland falling apart, countries are still queuing to board the gravy train, first in the queue is Turkey. This hideous historical fossil should not even be wished on Herman Van Rompuy and Jose Manuel Barroso, the champions of European enlargement. In the press freedom ranking of Reporters without Borders, a Paris-based NGO, Turkey has dropped to 138th place, behind Iraq and only just ahead of Russia. And currently they are busy locking down Internet use, having already banned 12,000 sites and they are putting filters in place, to ban subversive search terms like "homemade"?

The European Commission, in charge of monitoring accession countries' compliance with civil liberties and democratic standards, is getting seriously worried. It has repeatedly flagged up the deteriorating media environment in its annual assessments of accession preparations. Yet the situation keeps getting worse. To help it figure out what to do, the Commission gathered over 450 journalists and activists from the Western Balkans and Turkey in Brussels on May 6th. Many of them were seething with frustration: "The Europeans are hypocrites. They say they worry about journalism in our countries. But they still support our governments", said one editor.

The Rise of the Occupy Movement

It's a campsite dear, not a movement.....

There's a vacuum where left-wing politics used to be, there's thoughtlessness, no ideology, no leaders, no big ideas. Well, what do you expect when a vacuum occurs.

Did you expect people in tents occupying the pavements. The 'intellectual' fraternity, those types who in their writing reference left-wing thinkers from the 60s and 70s, to assure us of their credentials, did not expect the Occupy Movement.

That is, they didn't expect it to be so vacuous. These deep thinkers are finding it hard to grasp what they describe as the serious ideological disarray represented by these Occupiers. They quote Felix Guattari, from his essay The Proliferation of Margins...., telling us its just reflex, some kind of meme at work.

Thank you very much but that leaves us none the wiser. Three hours later we have worked out what they mean, it's the Internet, these Occupiers saw Tahrir Square, so without a thought and following no one, they set off for St Paul's and pitched their tents.

Another suggestion is that all these Occupiers, wearing their V for Vendetta, Guy Fawkes masks are just yearning for content, in a fantastical attempt to invent a purpose.

Someone once said 'nature abhors a vacuum', to that we might usefully add, so do intellectuals who will desperately spend every waking hour trying to fill it.

It might just be that the Occupy Movement is an exercise in pointlessness on a par with the meetings of Eurocrats in Brussels at the moment - perhaps we are seeing the development of some kind of alternative new politics, where vacuity becomes the norm and we have no further use for people who talk of memes and reflexes.


Reflections on 2011

All the reflection on the riots of August don't add up to a bag of beans, it was nothing to do with gangs, disaffected youth; it was opportunism.

The Euro is a dead duck, they can print as much funny money as they like but the party's over, the gravy train has come off the rails.

Call Me Dave's march towards Commutarian Social Control is more serious. Dave's activities, outlined below in the section Dave's Cunning Plans, is worrying. Dave has employed a lot of very clever people to put his schemes in place. Last year, in the early days of Dave's government, some thought Dave might be a Red Tory but now voices off... are suggesting that all Dave's talk of the Big Society was hogwash.

Beyond local politics, the world is in a shit state and doesn't inspire much hope, despite wankers like Seb Coe talking up Britain's attempt to host the best Olympic Games ever by spending an extra £40 million on fireworks.

2011 has been the worst of years, working families are receiving charity from food banks, old people are being left to rot in NHS hospitals, those injured in our wars, having left their arms and legs in Helmund return home hidden from the public gaze....

At the end of 2011 have we made any progress, surely, that's the point of being here, to progress spiritually? All the evidence says no, Chilcot and Leveson say no, the antics of Fox, Letwin and Huhne say no, the neglect of the elderly says no, the response of the rioters says no, and politicians continuing with the Afghan fiasco says no...


If you think this year was bad, wait 'till next year.









































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