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Return of the Bill v.4


Theresa May has a "new and improved" Brexit deal. This will be offered to the Commons on June 6. May is trying to sell the deal as a "bold offer". According the voice of the Tories Rory Stewart, version 4 of the Bill will include extra guarantees on workers' rights. He believes that this may sell it to Labour MPs but Mr Corbyn said he would not back it.

If the bill is not passed, the default position is that the UK will leave the EU on 31 October without a deal. And the man from Change UK, Chuka Umunna, said there was "simply not enough time" to hold a referendum before 31 October.


New Poet Laureate?


The BBC tells us: “Poet Simon Armitage, whose "witty and profound" work spans sharp observations about modern life and classical myths, is to be the UK's next Poet Laureate.” Armitage replaces Dame Carol Ann Duffy, whose had the job for the past ten years, unnoticed.

Blast-It’s culture person, Kendosan, took a look at some of Armitage’s work, he was not impressed. Profundity was absent and wit was slight.

Tories thrashed in local elections


The Tories lost 1300 seats and Labour lost around 100. Apparently, it was down to the main parties' inability to deliver Brexit. That's it, there's no more!

Note: The Lib-Dems were in an ebullient mood after gaining 700 seats. Only Vince Cable thinks this actually means some thing.

Radio presenter makes a monkey of himself


Danny Baker, Radio 5 Live presenter, posted the tweet below after Meghan Markel gave birth to a boy,  Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor.


Baker claimed he didn't know it was Meghan who had given birth after he was sacked by the BBC for the tweet.  He told the head of BBC Five Live to 'fuck off' and said the phone call was a 'masterclass of pompous faux-gravity' when told he would no longer be working at the station.

Note: Apparently, faux means not genuine; fake or false. Baker said his tweet was a comment on class, it was not racist. Why was Baker using the word faux? Also, why didn't the BBC sack Alan Sugar when he was racist about entire Senegal Football team?

Gavin Williamson sacked, so what?


Mrs May made Gavin Defence Secretary in 2017. He did not do much in the job, except make himself look a Charlie by telling Russia to "shut up and go away". He apparently leaked info' from a Security Council meeting to the press. Penny Mordaunt gets his job. And Rory Stewart gets her job as International Development Minister. Now, this last item is the real news story. Stewart said he would resign as Prisons Secretary, within a year, if he did not fix the crisis in the prisons system. He said that in August 2018 and now he has jumped ship!

Fiona Onasanya, episode 4


We had the lies, then the court case, then the jailing... now, 27% of Peterborough's citizens want a by-election to oust her. Only 10% is required to force a recall. This is history in the making. If they dump her it will be the first time that the Recall Act has actually been used to effect.

A Bridge Not Far Enough... for the London Assembly



The story of the Garden Bridge in less than 100 words...

Johnson and his chums decided to build a garden bridge across the Thames. A Garden Bridge Trust was put in charge of the project. Transport for London had oversight of the project. The mayor, Johnson, was too busy spaffing to bother with the detail. The Garden Bridge Trust made a mess of things. Chiefly, they dished out a construction contract without acquiring the land on the Southbank or gaining the necessary planning permissions. TfL slumbered until the London Assembly decided to set up a commission to discover where the wasted £53m went, £43m of which was public money.

Change UK?


New political party Change UK currently only have one policy: They want to remain in the EU. It's hard to grasp how you can change our broken politics by sticking to a key feature of the breakage, in the shape of EU bureaucracy. Only an idiot would tell you they want to change things by keeping things the same?

Change UK put up 70 candidates for the upcoming Euro elections and lost one candidate on day one. It turns out that Ali Sadjady, a former Tory and Twitter twit thinks that all Romanians are pick pockets - he's not ready for change just yet.

Update: Change UK turned down help from the Lib-Dems. Poor old Vince Cable just couldn't understand them.

Sri Lanka Bombings


Bomb blasts killed 321 people and wounded 500 on Easter Sunday in Colombo, Sri Lanka. Churches and hotels were targeted. The government there are pointing the figure at Islamic State but really they do not have a clue. So far they have managed to arrest 30 people just to make it seem as if they know what they are doing.

Sacks of cash


In Sudan President Omar al-Bashir was ousted from power on 11 April after 30 years. A search his palace revealed millions of dollars in sacks - you can't blame him for not trusting the banks with his money.

April 12: Brexit Day!


For the past week Mrs May has been talking to a Labour team, comprising,  Brexit secretary Sir Keir Starmer and shadow business secretary Rebecca Long-Bailey, in the hope gaining some help to get her Deal through the Commons and has achieved nothing. Today she's off to Europe again to get a further extension, to the end of June. The EU 27 want a longer extension to December or beyond to March 2020.

No, the new deadline is 31 October and means the UK is likely to hold European Parliament elections in May.

Another Black Hole


Star gazers have managed to snap an image of a black hole in a galaxy 500 million trillion kilometers away. This nonsense cost £40 million and should enhance our understanding of space not in the least.

Operation Yellowhammer


As part the contingency plans, the Ministry of Defence (MoD) has made 3,500 troops, including reserves, available to be deployed if necessary. That is, if we ever leave the EU?

Bercow gets confused


The ludicrous Commons speaker, John Bercow, claimed yesterday that ‘Part of the role of speaker is to speak truth to power – and no matter what, I always will’.

Vote Leave drops appeal


The Vote Leave referendum campaign, fronted by a pair of stooges, Boris Johnson and Michael Gove, was found by the Electoral Commission to have funnelled £675,315 through pro-Brexit youth group BeLeave, days before the referendum in 2016, which helped ensure it did not breach its £7m spending limit. They were fined £61,000 for the overspend. The stooges knew nothing about the overspend, Gisela Stewart, chairperson of Vote Leave knew nothing and Dominic Cummings, who spent most of the money, knew nothing.

New Parties, what for?


Dominic Cummings wants to start a new Brexit party - what will it be called - the Stooges? Cummings must have failed to notice Farage with his new Brexit party, or UKIP now fronted by Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, aka Tommy Robinson. Then again, perhaps Cummings missed the independent group forming Change UK this week.

The best option would be for Cummings to get stuck in a lift with Yanis Varoufakis and they could both bore each other to death.

March 29, we're still in the EU


Mrs May put her Deal before the Commons for a third time and it got rejected again. Labour voted against on mass and around 120 Tories voted it down. Our 'remainer' parliament does not want to get off of the Euro Gravy Train.

May intends to present her Deal for a fourth time next week...


We are not leaving!


Our political representatives have been conniving and scheming not to leave the EU on the March 29 or ever since the Referendum. This past week they got 99% of the way there. Just one more week and they will tell us they need a short extension, to May or June, if the House votes for May's twice rejected deal but is she does not get the result, then, they will tell us they want at least another year....

Failing Grayling v.3


Watch this space. If we don't leave on the 29th, then Grayling's deal with the ferry companies will cost another £20 million.


Geoffrey Cox, 49p is all his worth


Attorney General Geoffrey Cox managed to forget, for six months, the thousands of pounds in rent from his London flat in his back pocket. He apologised to Parliamentary authorities for not registering the money as income. Cox once earned £800,000 in a single year for his work as a criminal barrister - but he still claimed 49p in expenses to pay for a pint of milk. Let's hope he is not claiming for his acting lessons - he clearly thinks he's Richard Burton.

David Steel Suspended from Lib-Dems


Lord Steel, under questioning told the Independent Inquiry into Child Sexual Abuse on 13th March that having discussed child abuse in Rochdale with slimy Cyril Smith he assumed that Smith did it but Steel didn't think it was anything to do with him.

The Scottish Liberal Democrat Zombies have met and agreed that an investigation is needed. What on earth is there to investigate?

Boris the Buffoon spaffing again


"One comment I would make is that I think an awful lot of the money, an awful lot of police time, now goes into these historic offences and all this malarkey - £60m I saw was being spaffed up the wall on some investigation into historic child abuse and all this kind of thing." on LBC

An email sent to the Last Leg, suggested that the world would be a better place if Stanley Johnson had spaffed Boris up the wall.

Multiple Sclerosis makes MP appeal against speeding sentence.


Fiona Onasanya went to the Court of Appeal, using her solicitor skills to tell the Court that the judge at her speeding trial 'got it wrong'. She was innocent! The three judges listening to her complaints ruled that the judge at the original trial was a good ol' boy and she was wasting her time or rather everybody else's time. She wanted a full appeal case and the judges said get lost. The Labour party have started 'recall' proceeding against her.

Note: If she is forced out via a by-election then she will be the first MP to fall foul of the 2016 Recall Act. (see 29/01. and 26/02. below for earlier episodes of the Onasanya saga.

Failing Grayling V.2


Transport secretary, Chris Grayling, is like a well known piece of software that's full of bugs and requires updating on a daily basis. He is by every measure a bumbling idiot. His latest achievement, carrying out a secret franchising process with ferry companies, one with no boats, post-Brexit, and leaving the tax-payer liable to a court settlement for Eurotunnel of £33m. Why, because cunning Chris chose not to invite them to the tending party.

Note: Chris still has Trembling Theresa's confidence.

Don and Un


North Korean leader Kim Jong-un met with US President Donald Trump in Hanoi to chat about nuclear weapons. Kim wanted all the sanctions imposed in 2016 removed before he would give up a third of his nuclear arsenal. Trump wanted all the nukes gone before lifting sanctions. No deal! The press called it a summit, it was rather a meeting of loons, dangerous looms - we are all doomed.

Note: Un has executed at least 70 members of his own government and the idiot Don called him a great man.


Labour now want a second referendum


Finally, Labour have stopped being dishonest about what they really want. The majority of MPs do not want to leave the EU, their behaviour over the last two years has been hopeless. The only way they can save themselves from further embarrassment is to pray for an extension to Article 50, to vote for a second referendum and hope that the populace vote to stay in the EU - on the grounds that our elected parliamentarians are too useless to manage leaving the EU.

Fiona Onasanya is OUT


Fiona Onasanya, former Labour MP, jailed for lying about speeding was released from prison after only one month of her three month prison sentence. Fiona was paid £6,400 whilst inside - nice work if you can get it.



Thus far 8 Labour MPs have defected and 3 Tory MPs have joined them in something called the Independent Group. They have a website.

Update: Another one left but says he's not joining the Independent Group - nobody cares mate.

Jihadi bad news, citizenship revoked


Home Secretary, Savid Javid has written to the parents of jihadi bride Shamima Begum informing them that their daughters British citizenship has been revoked - that's the end of that then. Does that mean that all the other jihadi Brits, currently on their way back here, will be told they can't come in? Watch this space!

Update 20/02/19: Apparently, the 'bride's' mum comes from Bangladesh and Savid thinks she should go there. Bangladesh told him to get lost.


Orwell lives in Romford


Investigatory PowersThe media were all over the story of Shamima Begum, the IS bride who is not enjoying life on the wild side anymore and wants to come home and have her baby on the NHS - tough. Oddly, the media failed to notice the police testing their facial recognition tech. at Romford Station. The Investigatory Powers Act allows them to do this, so they are.  Last week, people were being stopped, searched, made to show ID - and one innocent man was fined after covering his face and standing up for his rights - according to Big Brother Watch?

Amber Rudd: Honesty at last


The work and pensions secretary said she was "absolutely clear there were challenges with the initial roll-out" of Universal Credit and that the difficulty in accessing money was "one of the causes" of the rise in the use of food banks. The Trussell Trust says that in areas where UB is introduced food bank use goes up by 50%.

Failing Grayling


Chris Grayling, Transport Secretary, was asked in the Commons how much he had spent on his 'no ferries' deal with Seaborne — “nothing”, said he. This was all very curious because National Audit Office report said that £800,000 had been spent on consultants. And would there be any legal fees to come now that Grayling (11/01/19) had pulled the plug on his deal with Seaborne Freight — Failing Grayling was not the person to ask.

Multiple Sclerosis makes MP lie about speeding


Solicitor and MP (but not for long) Fiona Onasanya had denied being behind the wheel when her car was spotted being driven at 41mph in a 30mph zone, in July 2017. She said her lodger was behind the wheel but it turns out he was not even in the country in July 2017.

The Peterborough MP was thrown out of the Labour Party after being convicted of perverting the course of justice. The court heard that Onasanya was texting as well as speeding. She blamed her behaviour on multiple sclerosis. The judge, unimpressed, decided to lock her up and throw away the key - well, for three months anyway. Her brother then stepped in to take the rap for her and the judge, unimpressed again, gave him ten months (Festus was a serial speeder).

May loses Brexit vote


Mrs May's EU Withdrawal Deal was voted down in the Commons.

MPs voted by 432 votes to 202 to reject the deal, which sets out the terms of Britain's exit from the EU on 29 March.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has now tabled a vote of no confidence in the government. This will be debated on Wedsnesday 16/01/19.

Will it trigger a general election - watch this space?

Update: 16/01/19 Corbyn's no confidence vote went nowhere.


Bad start to the year for Transport minister Grayling


Seaborne Freight was awarded a £13.8m contract to operate freight ferries from Ramsgate to the Belgian port of Ostend if the UK leaves the EU without a deal - but it does not have any boats - How did that happen Mr Grayling?





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