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Macron goes into hiding

08/12/18

The Yellow Vests took to the streets of French cities again today. Police had made 500 'precautionary' arrest before 11.00 o'clock, but they had not managed to kill any yet with their baton charges and tear gas.

Man of the people, President Macron stayed inside his palace. Macron just doesn't get it, he cancelled his fuel price hikes and they are still protesting. What do they want? How about a decent life? However, what troubles politicians across Europe is the fact that they can't identify a Yellow Vest leader, someone to have a cosy, reasonable chat with.

Boris says sorry

06/12/18

Parliament's Standards Commissioner, Kathryn Stone, says Johnson's failure to record his income in the Register of Members' Interests from book sales was "neither inadvertent nor minor". Basically the buffoon disregarded the rules that apply to everyone else. He also failed to get permission from the Advisory Committee on Business Appointments to start scribbling for the Telegraph again, after resigning from his role as Foreign Secretary. That was another rule disregarded. And his punishment for this behaviour, a simple sorry.

Legal Advice will be published

04/12/18

The government was forced to publish the full legal advice on the Brexit deal, after MPs found them in contempt of Parliament for only issuing a summary. It's unlikely that anyone will be taken to task for this failure but the worst that can happen is that they will be suspended from the House.

Update: 05/12/18, The published legal advice does not tell us anything that we did not know already, i.e., the Northern Ireland border will be a bit of a problem, blah, blah...

Farage leaves UKIP

04/12/18

UKIP's NEC have told Gerard Batten he can't have Tommy Robinson as an advisor on all matters Islam. And Nigel Farage announced (04/12/18) that he had cancelled his Direct Debit and had left UKIP - due to Batten's obsession with Islam. Really, does anyone believe that Nigel was paying his membership fee (£4.00) by Direct Debit. Nigel seems to have ditched his own anti-muslim sentiments. Perhaps he's on the look out for a Conservative ticket to the House.

Update: 06/112/18 Ex-Ukip leader Paul Nuttall also cancelled his direct debit to the party over the hiring of Tommy Robinson (Stephen Christopher Yaxley-Lennon) as an advisor on grooming gangs.

Blast-It receives Tweet from Tusk

25/11/18

"EU27 has endorsed the Withdrawal Agreement and Political Declaration on the future EU-UK relations."

Then everyone sang a chorus of Do The Hokey Cokey...

You put your left leg in,
Your left leg out:
In, out, in, out, shake it all about.
You do the hokey cokey,
And you turn around.
That's what it's all about!

That's what Brexit's all about?

 

The Teapot Prize for November goes to Gerard Batten

24/11/18

UKIP should "get rid" of leader Gerard Batten for appointing Tommy Robinson as an adviser. Hiring the ex-English Defence League leader is "dragging us in a shameful direction", Nigel Farage said. The 'us' in question is UKIP - nobody cares, UKIP have had their 15 minutes.

 

Smart Meter Roll Out

24/11/18

The Tory government is unlikely to meet its smart meter roll out target, to have all homes switched by 2020. The roll out has been plagued by problems, due to poor workmanship, old equipment, poor mobil reception in many areas, and the financial benefits have been overstated by nutty energy minister Claire Perry.

Spain's prime minister has a funny turn

24/11/18

Pedro Sanchez said was not going to attend Sunday's 'we are all chums with the UK Brussels bash' and went on to say that he would veto the ratification of the Withdrawal Agreement. Well, someone explained to him that he did not have a veto and the UK intends to give him Gibraltar. But not until he starts wearing long trousers.

Extinction Rebellion

24/11/18

Not a few normal, ordinary communters understand what eco-warriors, Extinction Rebellion, are doing delaying their journeys to work in London. Well, they are carrying out a campaign of civil disobedience to highlight the pollution of the planet. The Daily Mail says Extintion are just left-wing trouble makers.

 

Stop Press:

20/11/18

Sadiq Khan finds a buyer for Boris the Buffoon's water cannons, a junk yard. Khan managed to recoup just £11,000 of the £330,000 that the idiot Boris spent.

Waiting for the postman

20/11/18

An absurdist playwright couldn't make it up. Picture the scene, a giraffe in a double-breasted suit is telling followers that the postman will be along soon with more letters. It may not be tomorrow, just soon.

"Ditch May now or she will lead us into 2022 election", Giraffe tells Tories.

The BBC's Laura Kuenssberg asked Mr Giraffe if he felt like a twit saying he was going to bring about the downfall of Mrs May and failing so abysmally. He replied: “Patience is a virtue, virtue is a grace.” The press corp stood in awe or was it astonished silence, or did they know that the next line of the song is...

"Grace is a little girl who wouldn’t wash her face"

 

Brexit, the final solution

14/11/18

At five o'clock, Mrs May was due to appear outside No. 10 to tell the nation about her final plan for leaving the EU. She did not appear, they said she would not be coming out. Then they said, she will be out at six, she did not appear. The BBC knew what to do. Filming outside No. 10, Fiona Bruce interviewed Laura Kuenssberg, talking twaddle.

Update: she came out at 7.20, and we were no wiser?

Update: a week later, some people read the Withdrawal document and said it's dead in the water and will never get through a Commons vote.

Tom Cruise to be replaced as Jack Reacher

14/11/18

At 5ft 7in Cruise is just too short, according to Reacher author, Lee Child. In the books Reacher is 6ft 5in tall, with hands the size of dinner plates. Blast It suspects that the studio has simply got fed up with Cruise's attempts to convert everyone on the set to Scientology.

Cameron: The Return

02/11/18

Please no! David Cameron is without doubt the worst prime minister this country has produced in the post-war period. He was in office for six years and excelled at only one thing, U-turns. Dave is just an arrogant twerp, famed for his failed Big Society, his inability to get anything out of Euro friends, his failure to fix the deficit and most damning, his disastrous austerity obsession.

He now thinks that he can return to politics as a key player, once the Tories choose themselves a new boss. He thinks he would make a good foreign secretary. Now, that's an odd choice since he showed us that his grasp of matters foreign is woeful. Ask the people of Libya, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Syria.

 

Arron Banks: has he been chipped by the Russians?

02/11/18

There is something that's just not right about Mr Banks. Why would a business wise guy that owns diamond mines that are failing to make any money, be giving £9 million away to UKIP and LeaveEU. He says all the money came from his companies but this cannot be checked because the the company accounts are hidden on an island somewhere. There is a suspicion that the money came from those nasty Russians. Fear not, the National Crime Agency us on the case. So expect some answers at some time hence, when nobody will care less.

Contamination at Grenfell

20/10/18

Soil tests around Grenfell Tower have reportedly revealed “huge concentrations” of toxins in the soil and dust around the west London tower block and up to a mile away as a result of the fire.

Khashoggi Death, Saudis Confess - no torture was used

20/10/18

Two weeks ago Jamal Khashoggi, journalist and outspoken critic of the Saudi regime, paid a visit to the Saudi consulate in Istanbul. He did not reappear. The Turks said he was chopped up by a Saudi hit squad. The Saudi regime finally admitted that he had died in the consulate, in a fist fight. Mr Trump said that will do for me.

Clegg: Another Betrayal

19/10/18

On Wednesday Clegg was asked if he intended to move to Europe, he avoided the question because he knew full well he was bound for a new job in California, working as a tea boy for Facebook's Mark Zuckerberg. Clegg is well qualified, he spent five years pouring the tea for Call Me Dave.

Brexit is moving further away

18/10/18

Mrs May had another audience with the Lords of Euro Doom and they told her to go away and re-think the situation. She told the press she needed more time, beyond the 20 month implementation period to do the thinking.

Peoples' March in London

20/10/18

Mayor of London Sadiq Khan said: "There's nothing more democratic than trusting the people to have the final say on our future." And celebrities Steve Coogan, Delia Smith and Deborah Meaden will be supplying a joke, a menu and some queer looks.

Labour MP, Chuka Umunna, said remainers were not ignoring the 2016 vote but people just did not have all the facts! Um, like the need for second referendum?

Another Pakistani Grooming Gang

19/10/18

In Huddersfield a Pakistani grooming gang, who assaulted young girls, were imprisoned for years at vast cost to the taxpayer. Nazir Afzal, a former Chief Crown Prosecutor in north-west England, said: "It's not their race or ethnicity that drives their behaviour, it's the fact that they are men and they think they can get away with it”. That’s bollocks.

Call for a General Strike

25/09/18

Labour MP for Crewe, Laura Smith, whilst addressing a fringe meeting at the Labour Party Conference, called for a General Strike to bring down the Tory government. Mr Corbyn was not amused, especially as Laura only had a majority of 47 in the last election.

 

Welby in a Muddle

21/09/18

The Archbishop of Canterbury attacked Amazon for tax dodging and paying low wages. Basically, he was just showing off at a Trades Union conference and ended up looking very silly. The press soon revealed that his church is heavily invested in the likes of Amazon and the church is not averse to employing workers on a zero-hours basis. The Church has an investment fund standing at £8.3 billion.

29 Years After

15/09/18

David Duckenfield, the police match commander at Hillsborough in 1989, when fans were crushed to death, pleaded not guilty to the gross negligence manslaughter of 95 Liverpool fans. It may be a number of years before anything more happens. For some reason the trial proper will not begin until next year or the one after.

Salisbury Attack

15/09/18

Alexander Petrov and Ruslan Boshirov, who appear to have no past beyond 2009. They have been accused of the Novichok attack on Russian spy, Sergei Skipal and his daughter. The state assassins told Russian TV that they were in Salisbury to visit the cathedral. There's no doubt that Petrov and Boshirov work for Russian military intelligence and there's also no doubt that our government does not have a clue what to do.

However, here's a question for you: why didn't our security people shut down the hotel that the Russians used in London and throw a three mile exclusion zone around it

Chequers Plan is a dead duck

13/09/18

“It’s not about changing Prime Minister, it’s about chucking Chequers”. That was Bonkers Boris trying to pretend that he does not want the top job himself.

Curious About the Sun, neither am I.

19/08/18

NASA launched a spaceship heading for the Sun, unfortunately Boris Johnson was not on board. Apparently, the Parker Solar Probe will be aiming to find out why the Sun is cooler at the surface than the corona and what drives the solar winds. Excellent, and they are spending is 1.5 billion US dollars on the mission.

Time for Corbyn to go, please.

10/08/18

We all know that Labour has been lost in a maze of confusion for decades. What the party needs is clarity but with Jessa at the helm there is no way to lift the fog. Proof was provided by the excellent Daily Mail. They published a 2014 picture of Jessa holding onto a wreath bound for the graves of the Black September terror group, responsible for the Munich massacre in 1972.

Corbyn said that “wreaths were laid at the graves of those who died in the 1985 Israeli airstrike and on the graves of others killed by Mossad agents in Paris in 1991.”

He was asked (13/08/18) by the media about what he did: “I was present when it was laid. I don’t think I was actually involved in it.”

The next day he was asked, ‘Did you lay the wreath?’, he replied: ‘I laid one wreath along with many other people in memory – as I’ve said – of all those who died in the awful attack in 1985.’ As I said, the man and the party are confused!

Bopostboxnkers Boris Burqa Bashing

No mark Tory MP Boris Johnson upset Muslims throughout the land by writing in his Telegraph column that women wearing the Burqa looked like post boxes and bank robbers. The suggestion that Bonkers would make a good PM, as John McEnroe would say, "you cannot be serious".

Trump goes off Turkey

10/08/18

Trump raised tariffs on Turkish goods because he was upset by the arrest of  American pastor Andrew Brunson and the fact that Turkey has chosen a Russian missile defense system. The Turkish lira plunged, making holidays much cheaper. Erdogan the mad, Turkey's capo dei capi, detained Brunson in 2016, accusing him of organising the coup that tried to remove the capo. For what it's worth Blast-It is still convinced that Erdo' set up the coup to reinforce his own mandate. (Something for Mrs May to think about?)


Riots in Londonderry

14/07/18

There have been six nights of unrest in the Bogside, with petrol bombs being thrown at protestant houses on the other side of the Peace Wall. The main target, however, was the police. However, a couple of old provos were targeted on Friday night, the houses of Gerry Adams and Bobby Storey were bombed. Someone in Sinn Fein described the act as "reprehensible". We are told that dissident republicans are behind the New Troubles.

Note: Why did it take the BBC 5 days to report the unrest? And those know-all wise guys on national talk radio LBC were too busy talking nonsense about Trumps visit to bother to discusss the so-called Peace Dividend.

May's reshuffle, after Chequers

12/07/18

Boris the Buffoon resigned and mysteriously his job as Foreign Secretary went to Jeremy Hunt, what will the NHS do now? Don't panic, Matt Hancock, former Culture Secretary has the helm now, perhaps you should panic? Culture is now being looked after by Jeremy Wright, former attorney general, he's the fourth person in charge at Culture in two years. Let's hope he does a better job than he did at the Ministry of Justice between 2012 and 2014; prisons and probation services in a mess and rehabilitation nonexistent.

David Davis, Secretary of State for Exiting the European Union, also disappeared following the Chequers summit, but no one seemed too bothered about that since he really had not done much after two years in the job. Various other unknown people resigned but no one had ever heard of them.

 

Chequers Summit Sell Out

09/07/18

After two years of time wasting nonsense, Mrs May came up with a plan for Brexit - we wont be leaving!

 

Forget Dignitas

The Report of the Gosport Independent Panel

Gosport War Memorial Hospital

Between 1989 and 2000 a large number of patients died at Gosport War Memorial Hospital after being given "dangerous" amounts of painkilling medication, not clinically justified. The Independent Panel reviewing the deaths said that 456 patients died but the number may have been greater, 200 hundred records were missing. Relatives have said that more than 800 patients were help on their way.

A junior nurse raised her concerns about the treatment the elderly were receiving as far back as 1991 but she ignored. Families who complained about the treatment were readily dismissed by doctors and administrators. One doctor was found guilty of failings of care between 1996 and 1999, this took 10 years but there were no prosecutions, she was not struck off and she was allowed to slip away in retirement. Also, the Baker report of 2003 took ten years to see the light of day and if NHS advisers to the Minister, Norman Lamb, had been listened to the report would had been consigned to the shredder.

The police were busying themselves between 1998 and 2006, but no prosecutions were brought. According to the Panel, the police tended favour the hospital’s view of things over the evidence of the relatives, who were seen as trouble makers. It said the quality of the force's three investigations was "consistently poor”.

Following the report’s publication the usual suspects like the Royal College of Nursing trotted out the usual nonsense: "Nursing as a profession must work hard to seek out lessons from Gosport”. And the General Medical Council said: "We will be studying the report carefully to identify learning points.”

In sum, this report tells us that there was attempt by several agencies to cover up murder, doctors and nurses failed, the hospital management failed, the police failed, and the CPS failed.
Bottom line: Don’t bother travelling to Switzerland, just book into a hospital here, it wont cost you a penny.

 

Benefit Street: Wedding of the Year

19/05/18

How much did the royal wedding of Harry and Meghan cost the taxpayer. One wedding planning company put the cost at £32m. The Home Office was approached by the BBC about the cost of policing. They said they could not reveal the cost, it was a matter of national security. Thames Valley Police also refused to talk about the cost. We do know that the security price tag for the last Royal Benefit Street wedding was £6.5m.

Shrinkflation

19/05/18

As many as 2,529 products have shrunk in size over the past five years, but are being sold for the same price, according to the Office for National Statistics. Manufacturers are blaming rising input costs but this is not borne out by the evidence on input costs over the period, sometimes up or down but generally the trend has been downward.

An Unbelievable Apology

10/05/18

Today the government apologised unreservedly in the Commons to Abdul Hakim Belhaj and Fatima Boudchar for being rendered to Gaddafi's torture chambers in Libya in 2004. The couple were kidnapped in Thailand by the US, following a tip-off by M16, the latter also took part in the 'questioning'.

This apology is unbelievable because governments usually wait until everyone concerned is dead before they apologise.

A Humble Address My Foot

02/05/18

Labour put forward a motion in the Commons asking the government to supply the Home Affairs Committee access all documents relating to Windrush cases from 2010 onwards. Labour lost the vote by 95 votes, as MPs voted against Windrush disclosures. Tory MPs were given a three line whip to vote against and to reveal nothing. This must be the biggest cover up in the history of the Commons.

Note: a humble address is a petition of the Monarch, and by extension the Government, to order documents to be produced.

Cambridge Analytica

02/04/18

Data spies Cambridge Analytica have decided to fold and shut up shop. Unfortunately, Facebook is still with us.

Rudd out, Sajid Javid in

30/04/18

Sajid's dad was a bus driver, according to the newspapers. What that fact means is beyond mere mortals. A larger question is what does his appointment as Home Secretary mean for the tenants of Grenfell Tower whom he was supposed to be dealing with in his former job as business and culture secretary?

Rudd lies her way to the JobCentre

27/04/18

The Home Secretary told a Select Committee that the Home Office had no targets for removing illegal immigrants. Then, she told parliament that they had local targets but not national targets. However, she was not aware of these targets. Then, a six-page memo was passed to the Guardian, saying that her department had set “a target of achieving 12,800 enforced returns in 2017-18” and boasted that “we have exceeded our target of assisted returns”.

 

The Windrush Mystery

24/04/18

Back in 2009 someone took the decision to destroy paperwork relating to people who arrived with their children on the Windrush vessel in 1948. Alan Johnson, New Labour, Home Secretary at the time says it was the Border Agency that took the 'destroy' decision. Mrs May says it was him but the actual destruction took place while she was the Home Secretary in 2010. This debate has been going on for two weeks and no one is taking responsibility for making a large number of peoples lives miserable. Amber Rudd, the current Home Secretary blamed everyone except herself - quite right Amber, why would you bother to inform yourself about the plight of black people - even when a Guardian reporter has been phoning the Home Office every day for six months seeking information about the destroy decision?

Another Mouth To Feed

23/04/18

The Duchess of Cambridge had another child at the Lindo Wing. Apparently, some of the crowd outside the hospital had been there for two weeks. Now, everyone will be holding their breath, waiting to find out what name the new prince will take. Our guess is Philip.

Update: 27/04/18 Louis, Arthur, Charles

Queen's Awful Birthday Party

21/04/18

Television programmes are mainly awful, the Queen's birthday party at the Albert Hall, shown on BBC1, made viewing more awful. Tom Jones singing It's Not Unusual was enough to make an old person weep. Briefly, Ladysmith Black Mambazo retrieved things but then Jones appeared again to sing The Green Green Grass Of Home and it was a case of pass me the remote.

 

World War III will be along soon

11/04/18

assad2Bashar al-Assad's aircraft dropped bombs filled with toxic chemicals on Douma, near Damascus last Saturday. The UN said, oh, dear, what a nasty man. Mr Mad, Don Trump, called Assad a "gas killing animal". Don went on to tell Vlad the Impaler to "get ready" for missiles. Vlad said, I will shoot your missiles down. Then all three were returned to the asylum.

Zuckerberg is just weird

11/04/18

Appearing before various Senate committees resulting from the data harvesting scandal, supposedly instigated by Cambridge Analytica. The claim is that Facebook profitted from the the data breech. Zuckerberg comes across like a robot, and looks like he spends much of the daylight hours in a dark place. He thinks of himself as kind benevolent medieval spirit, doing good for Facebook users across the globe. Time for people to stop using Facebook?

Anti-abortion protesters should take a break, to Gruinard!

11/04/18

Ealing CoGruinarduncil is to create a safe zone around an abortion clinic in the borough following complaints of harassment by anti-abortion protesters. Instead of making the world a better place to live in, they choose to make it miserable. They should all be sent to Gruinard Island to protest Winston Churchill's use of the island to carry out biological warfare experiments using anthrax. Which led to massive soil contamination of the island.

Facebook takes a tumble

23/03/18

Mark Zuckerberg took five days to say sorry to Facebook users for allowing the data of 50 million of them to used for political manipulation by some advertising outfit called Cambridge Analytica.

Over the course of this week Facebook's market value has fallen by $58 billion, and that's probably the real reason he said sorry. So far, Zuckerberg is looking a likely candidate for the March Teapot Prize.

Russians in Salisbury Update

23/03/18

The bench has been removed to a secret location and those people told to wash their clothes are now being told to hand them over for burning (they will be compensated, let's hope they don't have to wait as long as the shopkeepers caught up in the 2011 riots.)

Corbyn sacks Owen Smith

23/03/18

Smith, shadow cabinet member responsible for N.Ireland decided to call for a second referendum on our EU membership, so Jessa sacked him. Smith says he was standing by his principles. Perhaps he should join the Lib-Dems. Peter Hain, former NI secretary described the sacking as a "Stalinist purge". (Twit, Stalin would have had Smith shot!)

Boat Race

23/03/18

Cambridge beat Oxford in the mens' and the womens' and both reserves' races. Something is clearly wrong at Oxford.

 

Stephen Hawking, Ken Dodd and Jim Bowen head out for the Event Horizon

14/03/18

Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking died today and now everyone knows the things he discovered. Experts of radio and televison have been explaining it all day long. We now know all about black holes and the singularity.

May expels 23 Russian Spies

14/03/18

Britain is now convinced it was the Russians wot done it and expelled a ton of Russian spies, to show Vlad the Impaler we mean business. But, and here's a tricky question, how is it that we managed to find so many spies in a week? How come we didn't about them before the poisoning incident in Salisbury? Perhaps it might have been more effective if Mrs May told our banks to stop laundering the criminal earnings of Russians busy buying London.

May also said that no government representative or Royals will be attending the World Cup in Russia. So, there will be no taxpayer funded japes for the over-privileged few this time around.

Russians in Salisbury

10/03/18

Sergei Skripal, a former Russian spy and his daughter were poisoned. They were found outside Greggs, on a bench, in the middle of Salisbury. The news media were hot on the case, he was an ex-soviet spy, a nerve agent was used, it was Putin. The full power of the state went into overdrive. A tent was placed over the bench. Then a panic ensued, the tent nearly blew away, men in protective suits tied the tent down, this was all relaid to the nation via TV, together with a full explanation of what was happening. That is a prime example of what the media, the experts, and government have been doing since the pair were found days ago - supplying the public with useless information. The men in protective suits moved on to the cemetery where Sergei's wife and son are buried - they covered their graves with tents? Meanwhile, 200 idle soldiers were scrambled to stand round the back of Greggs, waiting for Amber Rudd to deploy...

There's something odd going on in Salisbury, the home of Porton Down, our secret military research set up - you know, the sort of place where they play around with nerve agents that kill people.

Update: 11/03/18

Amber is telling everyone in Salisbury to wash all their clothes, just in case!

 

Mrs May and time travel

04/03/18

Mrs May made another key note speech on Friday, 12 times she said 'I want to be clear', 12 times she failed in her ambition. She appears to want a Customs Union but not like the one we are already in with the EU but one that we design, a kind of special Customs Union that favours us - a bit like the way things were in the 18th century, when Great Britain set the terms and everyone else accepted our terms or else. Aren't Tories wonderful, they just can't grasp the reality of time travel, you may only travel forward and there's no way back.

 

Henry Bolton must go

17/02/18

Poor Henry received a massive vote of no confidence in his leadership of UKIP and is no longer the UKIP party boss. Perhaps in future he will think above the waste? MEP Gerard Joseph Batten has been chosen as interim leader. Batten was a founding member of UKIP in 1993. Beyond being in at the beginning, the man is an embarrassment. On his days off he spends his time trying to weed out commies in the Italian political system and doing his best to upset the world's 1.8 billion muslims.

If Batten is the best that UKIP can do then the tea party really is over.

 

 

Oxfam

17/02/18

News reports of Oxfam's behaviour in Haiti in 2011 put the charity in the dock. The charity's country director, Roland Van Hauwermeiren, 68, was identified for hiring prostitutes at a villa paid for by Oxfam.

Celebrity ambassadors like Desmond Tutu pulled their support, the government said don't bother bidding for any more public money until you sort yourself out and donors stopped donating.

And what has the chief executive Mark Goldring done? He told the Guardian:"The intensity and the ferocity of the attack makes you wonder, what did we do? "We murdered babies in their cots?" He also thought criticism was motivated by an anti-aid agenda - let's hope so!

 

Another School Massacre in the US

16/02/18

Nikolas Cruz 19 expelled from Stoneman Douglas School in Parkland, Florida decided to exact revenge on the school community by killing 17 students and teachers. Cruz was said to have AR-15 assault rifle, a gas mask, smoke grenades and several magazines of ammunition. This was one of 18 attacks on schools so far this year.

After the Sandy Hook massacre of 2012 President Obama cried a little bit and made mournful noises about doing something about gun laws -- he did nothing! After the Stoneman Douglas massacre President Trump made a speech and said not a word about guns, he just wanted everyone to pray. He also found some time in his chat to the nation to suggest that the killings were actions of a mad person, and that's exactly what the National Rifle Association said after Sandy Hook, and every other mass killing with a machine gun.

Trump wanted the nation to know that mental health was being moved up on his action agenda, after wall building. He may also like to talk to the FBI, they knew all about Cruz because he told everyone via social media what his intentions were.

Carillion: Culpability unbounded

20/01/18

The Financial Reporting Council (the slumbering accountancy watchdog) is investigating the auditing work carried out by KPMG over the past three years. The trustees of Carillion's pension fund do not have a clue about the funding shortfall of £990m - that figure has increased £300m in the past week. The Pensions Regulator said information available before July 2017 "did not highlight sufficient concern". However, we know that the trustees were concerned but we do not know why that did not concern the regulator? Meanwhile, the bosses took huge rewards and the shareholders turned a blind eye because they were getting their skin.

The regulators slept through the whole episode, the trustees behaved like subservient poodles, the auditors did what auditors do, take the money and waltz off, and the directors took every undeserved penny they could get away with and for the shareholders the gravy stopped flowing but as everyone knows what goes up must come down.

KPMG footnote

The accountancy firm has been stood down in its advisory role on the Grenfell Tower fire inquiry because it worked for Kensington and Chelsea Council, and three firms who carried out work on the Tower. It waived its fee, nice bit of PR there.

Zuckerberg: What is he up to?

21/01/18

Founder and chief executive of Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, said news content on the site would be ranked in terms of its trustworthiness. And is Zuck, the money grubber, going to hire an army of people to monitor dodgy Russian bot feeds? NO, he is asking his users to do the job for nothing - wanker!

Henry Bolton latest...

21/01/18

UKIP's ruling national executive committee has unanimously backed a vote of no confidence in party leader Henry. This has come about as a result of his silly girlfriends racist Megan Markle texts. Henry is refusing to stand down. One time coupon clipper Nigel Farage described Henry as a "real man of substance”. What are the odds that Farage will soon be back. The cheese in my fridge has got real substance!

Mrs May to get tough!

21/01/18

Wait for it, there's a White Paper on the way, it will be here by spring time. It is being rumoured that the Pensions' Regulator (what do you mean, you did not know we had one) will be given tough new measures, like fining company bosses who abuse employee pension schemes, you know like BHS and Carillion - i.e., a total of 47,000 workers worrying about the financial futures, due to greedy bastards. Threatening crooks with fines is quite frankly ridiculous.

 

Justice Secretary, David Gauke gets his comeuppance

19/01/18

No judicial review in Worboys case but a review into the work of the secret parole board. And the Justice Secretary says it's up to the victims to bring a case against the parole board's judgment in the Worboys case. Two Victorian prisons damned by the inspector of prisons. Prisoners at HMP Liverpool and HMP Nottingham locked in their cells 23 hours a day with the rats and cockroaches due to under funding.

David Gauke was given the Justice job this month as a reward for 12 years service as a Tory lickspittle, appearing on TV news bulletins frequently supporting the cuts agenda, without an ounce of contrition for the social damage caused. Now, we can write with glee that he has to deal in real time with that damage!

It's confirmed! Trump is as mad as a box of spanners

14/01/18

chimp

Trump says places like Haiti are "shitholes"

Our correspondent in Washington (shown opposite) writes that he is probably not taking his medication. Trump told our chimp that he never said anything derogatory about black folk, it was all made up by the Democrats.

Trump was at a meeting in the White House, celebrating the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr and was overheard by our 'man' asking what team Junior played for.

 

Good news...

12/01/18

Serial bankrupt, Dominic Chappell, has been found guilty of the BHS pensions cover up. A man who lost loads of money on one of Chappell's property ventures says that he couldn't manage a one penny toilet door. The man has asked if he might be present when they crucify the loser.

Henry Bolton must go

14/01/18

In case you don't know, Henry is UKIP's leader this week. His girlfriend, former glamour model, Jo Marney, said some racist things about Meghan Markle. Now, we can't have that can we. Henry says she said these nasty things three weeks before he started having an affair with her - you know before he told his wife of 20 years about Jo. Well, Jo has been suspended from the Kippers tea party and not a few people around the table are saying that her and Henry should pack up and leave.

Carillion

14/01/18

New Tory party chairman Brandon Lewis told the BBC the government was keeping "a very close eye on this".'This' being, the impending collapse of a very large white elephant in the shape of construction company Carillion. This company owes the banks £900m and has come up short on pension funds, to the tune of another £600m. They offered the banks some worthless shares to cover the debt, the banks said we'll give you until April to sort yourself out. Meanwhile the money grubbers and that includes all the executives and shareholders are hoping and probably expecting the State to bail Carillion out of the mess it's made for itself. And they are probably right given the fact that the Tories had a crisis meeting on Friday due to the very large slice of the public sector handled by Carillion.

Chancellor says 'Productivity is key to economic growth'

05/01/18

The Chancellor's utterance clearly reveals he is a bit of a twit, typical of someone who is no more than a bean counter. Productivity is a measure of efficiency, it's not the key to anything. Productivity grew by 0.9% in the three months to September 2017. Why? because output increased with fewer inputs. And that's what the BBC calls news.

Toby Young

05/01/18

Can you hear that? It's Michael Young turning in his grave, pondering how he could have produced such a wanker for a son. Journalist Toby has been given a job on the government's new university watchdog. The Department for Education have been asked to explain what qualifications Toby has for the job - they didn't respond.

Office for Students (OfS) will help lead the Government’s drive to apply market forces to higher education. The OfS quango will regulate universities in the same way as gas and water utilities are not regulated.

Update: 09/01/18 Toby Young gets the boot from OfS for being a thoroughly nasty piece of work (and a wanker).

 

John Worboys

05/01/18

The parole chief apologised to victims of rapist Worboys for not letting them know that he was being released from prison. The Chief, one Nick Hardwick, said he thought that they had been told. Perhaps he assumed that it was someone's job to tell the victims. Will he be sacking that someone -- probably not!

UP

 

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