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Brexit 2018: what next?

When did the world end?

Who is Mark Carney?
































What's been agreed? More than you think!

First we had the leave vote, June 2016 and then nothing happened for two years. Then we had the Chequers Plan, July 2018, then we had the 585-page Draft Withdrawal Agreement, November 2018 and then had the 26 page draft political declaration on the future relationship between the EU and the UK.

Ex-bank of England boss Mervyn King described Mrs May’s plan as incompetent. All was not lost, current boss Mark Carney said he was prepared to extend his five year tenure to ensure a steady passage for Mrs May’s plan post-Brexit. (His knighthood was in the post!)

What does it all add up to?

Well, we thought that nothing was going on for two and a half years and behind our backs May’s Baldricks were cooking up a deal.

What deal?

We will appear to be leaving the EU on the 29 March 2019 but will not actually leave.

(The diagram below leads you through what happens next)

The Day the world did not end

In the run up to the referendum of June 23, 2016, dim PM David Cameron said a leave vote would be a disaster, his dimmer chum, George Osborne simply echoed Dave's thoughts and George's Canadian banker concluded that a leave vote would herald a time of great regret, much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

A plague of locusts did not descend on this land the day after the vote, when the leavers prevailed. Dave resigned. George Osborne was sacked. The Canadian kept his job but changed his tune. (Note: the Canadian in question, Mark Carney, was installed by Osborne in 2013, he hasn't had much to do at the Bank, apart from chairing the Monetary Biscuit Committee twice a month.)

However, the remainers were unhappy, they began to call for a second referendum, with LibDem hobbits in the vanguard. Clegg, Farron and Cable all said the leavers had been hoodwinked by clever fellows like bonkers Boris, and the not ready for long trousers Michael Gove.

Remainers said the leavers did not know what they were voting for, in fact they were not just ignorant, they were stupid - stupid people who simply punched themselves in the face, prepared to make themselves poorer at a stroke. And to compound the insult, they were told that they only voted leave because they swallowed Nigel Farage's anti-immigration lies. (Everyone must remember the day immigrants on the M4 made Nigel late for a meeting, leastways after all other reasons for traffic jams had been eliminated all that remained was immigrants.)

The problem with remainers is simple, they don't want to change anything, they are happy that this nation is falling apart, everywhere they look the ruin is obvious. And they seem happy with their current situation, that is, living in hope.


November 2018

brexit image


The Day the World Really Ended

In 1895, King Camp Gillette had a brainwave, he invented the disposable razor blade. This invention opened the door to the notion of 'two-part' pricing - otherwise known as daylight robbery.