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The Nation of Islam

Introduction: some might argue that Islam is a philosophy, a political ideology but definitely not a country. True, Islam is definitely not a country. However, at root Islam is more than that because it imagines a nation of Islam, fundamental to its core philosophy.

Islam: 7th Century Arab take on Christianity and some old testament prophets. The start-up idea was simple; Jesus was a good guy but others had distorted the words of the one God. So, the one God decided to have a series of conversations with Mohammad. Interestingly, Mohammad didn't write anything down himself, he passed on God's messages to others to write down. Hence the reason that Mohammad is called the 'messenger'.

The Central Idea: unlike Christianity and its offshoots, Islam has a big idea - the Caliphate. The Caliphate is a Muslim world ruled by the caliph who imposes the will of God upon all those who submit, i.e. all Muslims. Within the Caliphate framework no other form of submission is tolerated hence the Caliph doesn't have much imposing to do. All actions within the Caliphate are guided by the Qur'an, a collection of Mohammad's messages. Gaps in the transmission between the Prophet and his scribes are made up by a number of other books and revisionist commentators, not to mention any Imam who wants to make a name for himself.

Moderate Islam: this is a Western creation, made up by governments, like the British one, to persuade the populus that not all Muslims are bad people. This is tantamount to saying that someone is a moderate drinker but how does someone imbibe just a small amount of Islam? Do they start going through the Qur'an picking and rejecting bits willy nilly - could lead to Schisms and a lack of clarity. For instance, "Wahhabism" is the dominant form of Islam in Saudi Arabia. It has developed considerable influence in the Muslim world, in part through Saudi funding of mosques, schools and social programmes. Be assured, there's nothing moderate about Wahhabism, it considers itself 'the pure form' of Islam, interestingly, Osama Bin didn't subscribe to this school of thought.

Update: Osama Bin is dead. Killed by US troops on 2/5/2011.  



Radical Islam: now this we can understand. Rallying cry: Death to the Infidel, i.e. anyone not a Muslim. 

Jihad: holy war, all Muslims are 'fighters' and have a duty to kill the infidel and establish the Caliphate (where exactly, well, everywhere, obviously.)

Be clear, to the radical, an infidel is anyone who is not a Jihadist like them. This includes Muslims who are not following Sharia Law and those stupid enough to go shopping on the day the suicide bomber came to market.

Al Qaeda: stands for 'rock' or 'foundation of Islam'.


Education: unnecessary for women. Men attend the Madrasah, religious school, where they seem to spend a good deal of time reciting, that's it, reciting selected bits from the Koran. Ignorant Western observers (said by apologists, who can't bring themselves to say anything nasty about Islam) maintain the key function of the Madrasah is political indoctrination. Blah, no one's getting any marks here, the Madrasah does what it says on the tin, it equips attendees with the wherewith all to deliver the Caliphate - that's the bloody point of all that reciting, don't think, just know how to behave yourself when'Quinn The Caliph (The Mighty Caliph)' gets here.

Dress Code: you are forgiven for getting confused over the use of Niqab and Hijab within Islam. The Niqab covers the face, except the eyes, the Hijab refers to covering everything except the hands and face. Ah, but, if you are a women unfortunate enough to find yourself in the company of Muslim men who fundamentally misunderstand their own credo, you may well find yourself totally covered up, wearing the Burka and falling over small objects strategically placed by playful Talibs, who enjoy mocking women at every turn. All of which plays havoc with a women's dress sense and it's all the fault of the Mohammad who apparently said that women 'should cover their beauties'. Unfortunately, the 'messenger' was a tad unclear about what he meant by 'beauties'. 

Islam's big problem - Sunni bigots and Shi'ite zealots

Way back in the very early days, well as soon as Mohammad ceased to be, the problem emerged. There was great disagreement about who should succeed the prophet. One faction wanted Ali but the other faction kept insisting on giving the job to someone else. Eventually, Ali got the job but someone killed him. Ali's faction, became known as Shi'ites and the opposing camp as Sunnis, who considered themselves traditionalists. The latter would have no truck with disciples like Ali or his grandson Hussein. Hence, today the world of Islam is riven between the two camps, continuing to butcher one another, just like they did in the 7th Century.

P.S Al Qaeda is on the Sunni side of the street.

A bit of history

When the US wanted the Russians out of Afghanistan, they paid the Pakistani secret service to train and equip Taliban fighters in Pakistan. At the same time Osama Bin Laden was active in Afghanistan bank rolling various tribes, with Saudi oil money, in their fight against the Russians. The upshot of this joint effort, the Russians went home and the Taliban took over, oops, bit of a mistake. Under Taliban control, Afghanistan became the global home of terror, the place where Bin Laden hatched the 9/11 plot from a cave. True or not, US and European troops died in the dust on a daily basis and no one really had a clue what we were doing there.

We do hope this guide has helped and fear not because the legacy of New Labour's anti-terror legislation is in place to keep us all safe from the Muslim fighters stalking our highstreets.